Philadelphia Story

Thanksgiving weekend in Philadelphia was just great - delicious food, lots of laughs, local friends and people traveling in from various parts of the country for Karen's annual Thanksgiving party, which was certainly a nod to her hostess abilities. I've known Karen since college so was part of original Thanksgiving celebrations when we both lived in New York. Karen now lives in Philadelphia, in a area called Society Hill, a very pretty and walkable neighborhood where you could almost hear the clap clap clap of horses on the cobblestone streets from years past. Karen lives in a Colonial rowhouse built in 1790 and with a house full of guests staying there, the weekend had a cozy ski house feel too. (I happen to love everyone in PJs having coffee and breakfast together; my contribution was Acai Bowls with cornflakes Thanksgiving morning).

One of my favorite parts of the weekend was going to yoga with Karen on Thanksgiving Day and the day after, and our half hour walk to each location. I hadn't seen Karen since a girls weekend at my beach cottage in San Clemente two years ago and since then Karen has gone thru a divorce, left a long career in investment banking, reunited with her high school boyfriend and long time love and has gone on a few trips both internationally and domestically. She claims to be 'on sabbatical' (and is leaving again for travels this month) though she has recently invested in a wonderful new restaurant and has already started to get involved with a micro-finance project, a dream that's been in her heart for a few years. Certainly I know the past several months have come with some low points but it was wonderful to see seeds of the new life she's beginning to create from the ashes of the old.

I always thought Karen must have been a terrific banker because she was so passionate talking about some of the entrepreneurs she worked with. Maybe the 'heart factor' isn't what clients typically look for when they hire investment banks but it seems to me that you'd want to work with people who aren't just going to help you finance your business but actually care about if that business succeeds, beyond 'the deal' alone. I think when her travels are over, that energy is going to be challenged into other meaningful projects, that will also be an instrument of some positive change (which may involve more travel!).

For Karen, and a couple others I care about who seem on the cusp of something new, I'm just waiting to see what will next unfold.

Giving Thanks, Part 2

I love Thanksgiving. I love the tradition of gathering around a meal, everyone contributing to the meal in some way, thinking about what you are grateful for, and giving thanks. I love celebrating with family, celebrating with friends, and sometimes celebrating with people you've only recently met. I've celebrated Thanksgiving in Michigan, New York, Florida and California. This year I'm headed to Philadelphia.

My friend Karen from college, whose house a few of us are staying at in Philadelphia, is someone I've spent a few 'friends Thanksgivings' with when we all lived in New York, during the Thanksgivings I didn't travel to be with my family. For some reason I keep thinking of one particular Thanksgiving where we had gone on a wild goose chase to several stores on the Upper West Side - (including Fairway at 8 pm on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving!) - in search of rutabaga which another friend was insistent on as part of her family's tradition - "It won't be Thanksgiving without it."

Some years of course you are feeling a bit more celebratory than others; some years are quiet years. Fall of 2008 wasn't a great year for many people. I, too, was going through a season of loss, as my stepmother and a good friend had recently died. Though...Thanksgiving comes and it reminds you of what and especially who you do have in your life, and I remember Thanksgiving 2008 with Ellen and Jane and other friends being warm, cozy and very happy.

Among many of the people I love, 2009 has brought a lot of joy in. New marriages, engagements, babies and babies on the way, homes, jobs. Others are on the cusp of something completely brand new. I have quite a lot to be thankful for this year, but most of all, it's for the people in my life.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Giving Thanks

Leaves are on the ground but the sun sure felt like spring last weekend. Growing up in Michigan, many Thanksgivings were filled with barren trees and a thick blanket of snow already covering the ground. Hunting season was well underway, and some frozen lakes that held the promise of ice skating and the classic Northern Michigan sport of ice fishing.

Two weekends ago I had attended services at Plymouth Church with Stacy and Carly, a historical church in Brooklyn Heights that was once the northern hub of the Underground railroad. Presidential candidate Abraham Lincoln had also attended a service there to give a speech against slavery, a monumental speech that was credited with helping him win the Republican nomination.

Three years later, President Abraham Lincoln, during the Civil War, also gave a Presidential proclamation to set aside a day as a national holiday in order to give thanks. Below is his original proclamation.

Washington, D.C.
October 3, 1863

By the President of the United States of America.

A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consiousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People.

I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the Unites States the Eighty-eighth.

By the President: Abraham Lincoln

Dolphins Optional

Just was looking into yoga class schedules for the weekend...very much still in yoga recon...and received an email from Renee, the teacher I absolutely loved in Laguna Beach. She has a lyrical French accent and Shavasana often caused thoughts of lavender fields in Provence to drift in my mind (and I've never been there yet!).

I used to practice yoga in a studio but Saturday mornings often began with 'yoga on the beach' in a hidden cove in Laguna. I never used a mat as being in the sand always made me feel playful, and also grounded. The sun, the perfect temperatures, feet in the sand. Leaping dolphins were often spotted. It was pretty amazing - santosha - perfect contentment.

I'm keeping this thought in my mind on the subway this morning...

Happy Friday everyone.

"The Future", courtesy of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett

Last week when I was flying home from California, I stumbled upon a CNBC program on the inflight television featuring Bill Gates and Warren Buffett discussing the theme of "Keeping America Great" to students at Columbia Business School. While the Town Hall style meeting is nothing new, there was something compelling about watching these bright young minds and these business icons answering questions on the global economy, capitalism, innovation, industry perspective, and providing larger philosophical guidance on values and contributions to society, in true Tribal Elder fashion.

I began watching midway through when Mr. Buffett was answering a question from a student and essentially interrupted himself to say, "And to cut corners, you know, everybody here has a wonderful future." There was an immediate applause from all the students and somehow, through the small TV screen, 30,000 miles up, you could almost feel the relief in the air, and then an electricity of optimism and possibility flowing through the room.

In addition to the importance of marrying the right person he later emphasized: "Find what turns you on. Find what you have a passion for....You will do well at whatever turns you on. There's no question about that. Don't let anybody else tell you what to do. You figure out what you are doing."

While I rarely watch anything on CNBC, I enjoyed watching the rest of the show before my flight touched down at JFK. The warmth and respect developed through the years between Mr. Gates and Mr. Buffett was certainly evident, as was their desire to impart a larger sense of purpose to this next generation of business leaders. A student had asked them what they admired most in each other, and while their answers aren't directly linked to their 'business', perhaps they are the outcome that's been refined through the years; wonderful examples of two way flow, like a vital body of water, of receiving and giving.

Bill Gates on Warren Buffett: "...I think I'd pick his desire to teach, his desire to teach things that are complex and put them in a simple form so that people can understand and get the benefit of all his experience, all his models of how the world works. He loves to teach..."

Warren Buffett on Bill Gates: "...He has this view that every human life worldwide is the equivalent of every other human life, and he's backing it up not only with his money, but backing it up with his time. And his wife, Melinda, is backing it up with her time. And they are really going to spend, you know, the last half of their lives or so using both money, talent, energy, imagination all improving the lives of 6.5 billion people around the world."

The students and larger TV audience may or may not have the 'next Bill Gates or Warren Buffett', but it was exciting to watch the seeds being planted.

Seasons

When I first landed back in New York in late September, it took my eyes a while to adjust to everything, and everyone literally looking and sounding quite different. I remember calling my friend Elizabeth (who has also lived in both places), and she just said "You're going through some culture shock."

I've been wearing sunglasses out of California habit but the truth is, you really don't need them every day (especially when it rains). Getting used to four seasons again will be something new. For the past few years I've been in a suspended state of endless summer for the most part. Of course San Francisco can be absolutely freezing and San Clemente has its version of winter (uggs, a hoody and a firepit), but even when I left California I primarily went to Florida so everything was for the most part pretty temperate.

A couple weeks ago my friend Jen came to Brooklyn Heights from Manhattan to look at open houses and commented that she loved being coming to Brooklyn because 'you can tell its autumn". The leaves on the ground, the taverns and cafes, homemade apple cider, college football tailgates and an overall coziness. There's so much I've forgotten that I am now remembering again. A new season is definitely in the air, and it feels good.

What to Give, inspired by latitude: 00-02N, longitude: 050-03W

Thomas Friedman wrote this week about deforestation in tropical forests around the world as he was headed down on a fact finding mission to the Brazilian Amazon, courtesy of Conservation International. "We are now losing a tropical forest the size of New York State every year, and the carbon that releases into the atmosphere now accounts for roughly 17 percent of all global emissions contributing to climate change..."
In 2006 I went with a small group from Sambazon to visit the new factory in Macapa, Amapa which is located right on the equator in the Brazilian Amazon. The picture above always makes me smile - and not just because we look like the crew from Gilligan's Island on a less than seaworthy vessel! The image reminds me of how it felt to be slowly cruising down the Amazon River, looking with wonder at the tropical animals, the light slanting through the trees, large multi-colored fish and creatures I've never seen before in the water below, everything in such an almost other-worldly pure state. Most of the areas in the U.S. look far different than they did a mere 100 years ago. In the Amazon, you have a sense that everything around you has an almost Eden-like quality, lush and bountiful, and untouched.

A friend Chris Kilham, who was also on the trip, was featured on NBC Evening News a few months ago on a powerful segment discussing "the world's biggest pharmacy may have a short shelf life". In the Amazon you do have a sense that all the plants and fruits from there are an essential part of our fragile eco-system, truly the 'lungs of the planet', and full of nutrients and healing aspects.

Though...hard to feel connected to something so far away. Far off wars, starving children, a forest you've never seen being burnt down. So often it's the here and now that grab most of our attention. Personally speaking, I have been on both sides of the country in 7 days - working in a hotel room in LA, driving to meetings, seeing friends at night, reconnecting to the environment there, then suddenly I'm back East, trying to find a cab in the rain after the Knicks game, and all that is Manhattan at night - all the lights and noise and energy, and people spilling out of Madison Square Garden in mid November.

In LA at the conference I was at, I listened to a presentation given by a VP at Clorox who discussed the research and initiatives they did as a company before introducing "Greenworks" brand. Ultimately the 'environment' that most consumers are connected to begins very personally -- Myself and family (what I put into my body and families' bodies), My home, my lawn, my car and so on until the far end of the spectrum is 'the outside world'. Though the Amazon Rainforest is home to nearly three-quarters of all living things on the planet, it's hard to wrap your head around a jungle in a far off land being burnt down, and what it means to me, personally, when you're stimulated by so much around you in day to day life.

Friends of mine were involved in something called EcoGift which I always thought was a very good idea, a collection of products that essentially give more. As we're headed into the holiday season, Thomas Friedman's column sparked some of Elf Laura's thoughts for some ideas around gifts that give, times 2.

• Sambazon - CD whose proceeds go to the Sustainable Amazon Partnership
• Feed bag - One bag feeds a child in school for a year
• To-Go Ware - Stocking stuffer, hostess present, $10 and under office grab bag
• Charity Water - Gifts that contribute to bring fresh water to one in six people in the world who don't have it
• Oxfam Unwrapped - my nieces always loved getting an 'animal' from me!
• TerraCycle - Speakers, bags, notebooks, all made of upcycled 'waste' (truly one man's trash is another's treasure)

Just beginnings of a list, by no means complete. What are some of your ideas for gifts that give more?

Angeleno Cam

Am writing this morning from the 17th floor of the Hotel Angeleno, a 'Space Needle' type hotel transformed from a former Holiday Inn on the 405 and Sunset.

Looking out on the panoramic view of people going to work, on the infamous LA freeway, and at the houses nestled in the hills just out of the camera view, its interesting to think of all the millions of people living and working in the city that you'll likely never meet...the individual lives that they have, and what they are facing...the same feeling you have when you look at a large NYC high rise or skyscraper.

My client and I had lunch at the restaurant on 17th floor yesterday and we were discussing some aspects of the challenges she's been facing over the past few months, and I had an Atticus Finch feeling of 'walking around in her shoes.' She's a fairly new entrepreneur, a dramatic change from her former life, and we discussed the things she faced she had no idea she would, and whether its a mixture of ignorance, arrogance and cluelessness that made her do it -- and whether if she really knew on the get go all that was involved, whether she'd have been as willing to just jump in.

I'm inclined to think that most of the time we're not given to know what's around the corner or may just freak out and refuse. Most of us aren't all that brave - or trusting - to just be willing to say "Okay God, you decide what's best for me and what I should do." I mean, how would the creator of the universe know how to run our life??

I think she is starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel or at least little bursts of light but I know that the 'during' part has certainly tested many things with her. Some of the subscribers to this blog I know are also in the 'during' part of some life transformations, and sometimes the going is a bit rough and often messy and scary. Easy to have all the perspective in the world after the fact.

Anyway, it was a reminder to me yesterday that when your client or customer or vendor or loved one is occasionally cranky and uptight and stressed out, they are likely dealing with their own set of day in and day out challenges, just as you are. And 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you. So for those of you (and you know who you are) who are enduring....am hoping you are hanging tough, taking things day by day and just being gentle with yourself. And for the rest of us who are on the crest of the wave, just a note for us to remember to be gentle with others too.

California

Uma the office pug might be wearing a sweater, but I'm dusting off the flip flops as I'm headed back to Cali for a work trip tomorrow morning!

And let there be light

I was walking home from the subway today, thinking about a couple people I care about who are facing some challenges. Then remembered some happy news (times 2!) I heard earlier today about friends Kathy and CJ and looked up and suddenly saw the beautiful lights in the tree in front of St. Ann's church. The holiday season starts early here in Brooklyn Heights.

The focus of my profession aside, I wish trees could be lit year around. I always loved the majestic palms sparkling at night, illuminating the dark Coast highway on the drive home from Laguna Beach, and in Florida over Christmas. One of my brother in law's favorite movie is "Fandango" (which could be called "Hangover" part 1). There's a wonderful scene where the village gathers for an impromptu wedding, bringing all that's needed to support the couple in love. The lights in the trees make the evening magical.

Helen Keller amazingly said "Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows."

I think it's the same with lit trees at night.

Week Six

A full weekend.

Halloween on Sesame Street followed by an adult party in the city. Mild evening so didn't freeze in my OC Beach Princess costume.
Going to the Happy Days Diner for the first time on Montague (ah, I forgot about NY diners...), then New York Marathon. Watching the runners at Mile 8, Atlantic and 4th Avenue. Going to visit open houses with Jen, and having an early dinner snack at the General Greene - a place I learned about from my friend Daniel's 'list'.

And even the kitchen gets a little action. Baking chocolate chip cookies for Halloween and making lasagne for dinner with others tonight.
Besides the activity, have to admit it was also the small things that make the weekend complete. Feeling well rested. Having a full refrigerator and freezer (forgot about how nice New York delivery is...). Catching up with some of my family and friends. Getting cable installed. (I know how that sounds but try living without a TV for 2 months!!). Discovering a new yoga class. Not going apartment 'to do' list shopping at Target, Crate and Barrel....just enjoying.

Week six and starting to feel like home.