Memorial Day

It's been a lovely Memorial Day weekend -- sunny, breezy, warm, and the 'chance of rain' that never happened. I've been up early enjoying some domestic goddess duties (which I actually do enjoy) after a busy weekend of guests, daytime exploring, and evenings out, before enjoying the day ahead. I went up on the roof deck to have coffee and call my father to wish him happy birthday while waiting for my laundry to finish downstairs.

Nearly every time I am in the elevator to bring laundry to the basement, John, an elderly resident of the building, seems to be in elevator at the same time, also doing laundry. He's very pleasant and talkative and typically says my name emphatically "Laura!" and has often told me the same story about the 1944 film noir classic "Laura" that I was named after. "...And that scene when Clifton Webb comes in and sees Laura...Now that's a movie!" John is taking care of his wife, who is quite sick, and from the sounds of his stories, it hasn't been easy. My own father took on this role a couple summers ago when my stepmother Carol was very sick and he spearheaded her home care. "You just do what you need to do," he told me at the time.

Looking at the Statue of Liberty across the harbor, the iconic symbol of our country and the many freedoms we enjoy, it's often easy to focus on Memorial Day as the ushering in of summertime fun and not take a few minutes to think about honoring the origin of the day . Besides barbecues, ice cream, riding bikes and the beach, it's also about remembering all acts of service, all acts of love.

Fatty Crab Friday

So "summer" is much different in New York than in California. For starters, when you live in Southern California even though there are seasons, they are subtle, and summer weather can begin as early as March (you know, when we still get snow!). There's not a lot of planning around long weekends because you are already living where people are traveling to visit. You already are at the beach. "Maybe we'll have a barbecue..."

In New York summer officially begins on Memorial Day, during a mass exodus when many New Yorkers leave the city and escape to beach houses or the country. Roads, bridges, high speed ferries, Penn Station and Grand Central Station are particularly crazy, as well as private airfields and helicopter pads for some as well. A lot of people try to leave on Thursday night to 'beat the traffic' (though everyone has the same idea), or earlier on Friday if offices have "Summer Friday" hours, and close early.

I'm happily not traveling anywhere this weekend as I have guests coming in from Philadelphia, the Upper East and Upper West Side, and a barbecue later in the weekend that features grilled lobster on the menu. (Mmmmm, this alone could be a reason to go to the beach next weekend!)

With no train or jitney to catch, and with our first "Summer Friday" kicking off today, I enjoyed a long Friday lunch with Chef Akasha Richmond who was visiting New York this week. I first met Akasha through my friend Laurie in Santa Monica and Jeremy and Ryan from Sambazon, and they are all investors in "Akasha", a beautiful rustic New American restaurant in Culver City. Prior to being a restaurateur, she was a private chef and caterer in top Hollywood circles, with a 'who's who' list of clients including the King of Pop himself. Akasha was in town to be with her daughter who is relocating here, and for the type of creative inspiration that only a week in NYC can bring!

Akasha had asked some of the young chefs at her restaurant where she should eat and one recommended "Fatty Cue", a new restaurant in Williamsburg that is apparently hotter than hot. Akasha went there earlier this week and wanted to then meet at "Fatty Crab" in the West Village because she couldn't get this restaurant and creations from Chef Zakary Pelaccio out of her mind.

You always hear you should find the secret gems that chefs go to. Well I recommend actually going with a chef! My aspirational "Vegetarian Plus" self went on summer hiatus, as we ordered a few dishes...

....and then bought homemade dark chocolate bars with almonds, pepper and molden salt for our respective weekend guests.

It was one of those perfect Fridays, and a great way to welcome in summer months ahead.

Greenwood

It was overcast most of today and looked like rain. Perhaps it was the mild temperatures or clouds massing over the Harbor but I kept having the feeling of being in a lake cottage, the morning after a storm.

As part of a task to fulfil a Brownie badge about learning from the past, Stacy, Logan and I accompanied Carly to Greenwood Cemetery in Brooklyn. It was beautiful and still and peaceful, and the only sounds (besides the kids) were birds in the tall trees.

I learned that Greenwood is the nation's third largest cemetery, as well as the information below:

"...Founded in 1838 as one of America’s first rural cemeteries, the Green-Wood Cemetery soon developed an international reputation for its magnificent beauty and became the fashionable place to be buried. By 1860, Green-Wood was attracting 500,000 visitors a year, rivaling Niagara Falls as the country’s greatest tourist attraction....Green-Wood’s popularity helped inspire the creation of public parks, including New York City’s Central and Prospect Parks. Today Green-Wood is 478 spectacular acres of hills, valleys, glacial ponds and paths, throughout which exists one of the largest outdoor collections of 19th- and 20th-century statuary and mausoleums. Four seasons of beauty from century-and-a-half-old trees offer a peaceful oasis to visitors, as well as its 560,000 permanent residents, including Leonard Bernstein, Boss Tweed, Charles Ebbets, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Louis Comfort Tiffany, Horace Greeley, Civil War generals, baseball legends, politicians, artists, entertainers and inventors...."

Stacy and I tried to find Henry Ward Beecher's grave, but we never found it. Here are some photos from our afternoon.

"You and I do not see things as they are. We see things as we are."

- Henry Ward Beecher

George and Joan

As a California expat, I've had to employ certain strategies to keep the California sunshine feeling alive during the cold dark months of winter here. My professional smoothie making abilities aside, I also subscribed to The Daily Om and The Daily Love, and often read them on the subway to and from work.

The other morning I was so excited to see a George Lucas quote in The Daily Love! "The secret is not to give up hope. It's very hard not to because if you're really doing something worthwhile I think you will be pushed to the brink of hopelessness before you come through the other side."

Ah, George. When I lived in San Francisco, George Lucas was a hazy presence in the back of my mind. One of my clients was a student loan provider and I must have mentioned him a few times: "Well, we could involve George Lucas's Foundation - they do so much with education and teachers!" that they would often laugh and say, "So is George Lucas going to be part of this program idea, Laura??"

Whether it was because he was the mind behind "Star Wars" or the conversations between Bill Moyers and Joseph Campbell on Skywalker Ranch in "The Power of Myth" or interviews I had read about the intention of the Lucas Foundation, he was someone I always admired. Never met him, never really wanted to meet him, just liked the idea of knowing that he was just north of me.

Of course in the last couple months I was living in San Francisco I saw him for the first time. I was walking by Tadich Grill and either my friend Karen or Lauren said, "Hey it's George Lucas" and I froze!

The other touchstone that figures large into the other two places I've lived is Joan Didion. My idea of New York and California, was first impressed upon by her essays and books. I first wrote stories in 3rd grade but probably wanted to 'be' a writer, because of Joan. In her essay "GoodBye to All That", Joan first defined what it was like to move to New York when you are young and from a small town, and in other essays first sketched the golden dream of California to me. I read "The Year of Magical Thinking" during time I was grieving a loss, and recently reread "Democracy" last fall, after coming home from a benefit where I wasn't yet vibrating with the careful manners and appearances that sometimes is part of life in New York City.

Like George, never wanted to meet her, but like the idea of knowing that we are neighbors again.

7:57 a.m.

The wonderful thing about this time of year is that it makes the 'art of doing nothing' so completely natural - and essential!

Happy Friday everyone.

In someone's shoes

Everyone's favorite lawyer Atticus Finch says in 'To Kill A Mockingbird': "If you learn a single trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it."

Last month, TOMS shoes, the social entrepreneurial shoe company that donates a pair of shoes to a child in need for every single pair purchased, launched "One Day Without Shoes", a campaign that encouraged people to spend the day barefoot to experience how millions around the world walk every single day.

Today TOMS announced a limited edition 'charity: water collection', where proceeds fund a well for a village in Northwest Ethiopia. charity: water's mission is to fund clean water wells for the one billion people on the planet without access to clean drinking water.

Not always easy to remember to 'walk around in someone's skin'. My Atticus Finch grace disappears easily on a cold rainy morning on a crowded subway. And definitely not easy to imagine how life must be for so many people without water, without shoes.

Thank you TOMS and charity: water for helping our imagination...

Sea Legs

I am not sure if everyone is 'in your life for a reason' but there are some people that enter your life that somehow seem more connected to the path than others.

A couple weekends ago, when both Greta and Oprah were in town, my friend Kate was also in New York visiting her family, on a brief 72 hour visit from London. Due to schedules we were only able to see each other Monday morning at 7 a.m. - Kate (bright eyed and awake early on UK schedule) arrived at my home with bagels, and I made coffee for us, still sleepy in my pjs.

We had about one hour of 'quality time', catching up and also immediately connecting, as you do with the closest of friends. As we hugged goodbye as I headed to the subway and she headed to her sister's house in Brooklyn Heights, she suddenly said "I think life isn't about the pursuit of happiness as much as the pursuit of peace." I've been turning over that thought in my mind ever since, though I am not sure if peace and happiness are mutually exclusive.

I originally met Kate through Jon, someone I met at Stacy and Jason's wedding, and at some point Jon wanted me to meet Kate who he lived next door to when she lived in San Francisco. Kate became my original ambassador to Brooklyn Heights, originally living with her college roommate on Hicks Street before she bought a place, coincidentally, right on Grace Court.

A few years ago Kate moved to London for work, and reunited with an ex boyfriend who she eventually married. When I first moved to San Clemente from San Francisco, we had a phone catch up, and I remember saying that San Clemente was great though wished I had some true girlfriends. Kate said, "Oh, I have two cousins who live in San Clemente!" I thought she must be mistaken but she did...Ellen and Jane....who grew up in Ireland and had lived all over the world as their father was a diplomat, but both ended up settling, coincidentally, in sleepy little San Clemente.

When Kate was in my apartment a couple Mondays ago, I showed her one of two items I have hanging on my wall -- a nautical map of a trip we took a few years ago. Kate's now husband Andy wanted to move his boat from Mallorca to Sardinia, and few friends were going to go along for the ride. Since my brother in law is a sailmaker, I had spent some time on the water though hadn't taken sailing lessons at the time or done much on a boat outside of applying sunscreen or fetching a beer! When I showed Travis the intended passage he raised an eyebrow and commented, "That's quite a trip across open water."

Due to some unforeseen complications right before we were to set sail - no hot water, some of the 'competent crew' cancelled last minute, and also a broken head (toilet) - Andy changed our route to a more prudent 10 day voyage around Mallorca and sister island Menorca vs. three days across the open Mediterranean.

It was on the trip that I earned the nickname "Mad Dash" from Captain Andy, when I was at the helm though not exactly steering but going with where the sudden gust of heavy wind was taking us. "You have to helm your ship!" Andy barked from below. "Or we're going to go on a mad dash to Algeria!"

At some point Andy rigged up the auto pilot and I was on deck, on watch for other boats, and remember that feeling of being gently rocked as the boat sailed cleanly across the water. As we were making the crossing between islands I remember thinking that it might feel a little scary when I first lost sight of any land, but instead the opposite happened: the moment the land disappeared and I found myself surrounded by water on all sides, I felt completely peaceful, blissful, in the moment. The scary thing happened, and it was okay. In most spiritual and religious practices as well as yoga there's often the reminder to 'surrender' to something larger, or 'letting go.' I think this is an ongoing practice, daily, but at that brief moment when I lost sight of land I understood what surrender felt like.

I thought about sailing again this past weekend when I was in Chicago, visiting two close friends -- one who is getting married next month in Florence, and another who just had two twin baby girls. Both of them have had some side adventures and false starts before ending up with their heart's desire. After my trip to the Balearic Islands I took sailing lessons in New York Harbor. Besides another 'Mad Dash" moment where I accidentally ran aground behind the Statue of Liberty in low tide I learned the importance of 'sailing at the point of wind you are at'. I also learned that getting to where you want to go is often not the direct path, but instead, a series of tacks.

Crisis Management

My former client Mary posted a great item about crisis management in the wake of the BP oil spill. Mary has the perspective of having been thru a severe crisis with a company, and discusses of the importance of how things are handled, as it relates to rebuilding long term trust.

I always enjoyed the truth behind the lyric from the "Wear Sunscreen" video. "..Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday."

While you can prepare for worst case scenarios, a crisis does tend to blindside you from nowhere. From the most personal to global scale, a crisis tends to divide things into 'before' and 'after.' Typically there is a lot of discussion and analysis around why did this happen, who's to blame or what could we have been changed if we turned back time. If its a domestic or global crisis there will be cover stories on "What went wrong?" If its personal, that same examination is usually applied to ourselves and others. It's often a very confusing, scary and overwhelming time, with no easy answers.

Looking backwards is important for perspective, and learning from any mistakes that could have been avoided. Change only happens though when you eventually look forward, trust (often without many tangible facts) that things will get better, and then put one foot in front of the other.

The O Effect

My friend Paul called this morning, and we talked about the two events we were both involved with in the last few days. Paul's event was a New York City VIP event, attended by many notable bold face names from society, business and politics, including former President Bill Clinton. I wanted to hear all about his event but Paul wanted me to go first, "You had Oprah at your event. She's bigger than the President!"

Many of my colleagues have been working round the clock, for several months, for the multiple events that were part of the larger than life O anniversary celebration. I was helping with a live Today show shot from the event, so had gone over the day before for a walk thru with the producer. Walking out of the Javitz Center, the sign above -- the theme of the weekend -- made me pause, and I thought, "I've been to a lot of events, but I don't think I have ever been to an event like this."

It wasn't the VIPs that were attending throughout the weekend, or the sheer planning and production of what went into the weekend that impressed me (though of course that was very impressive!). It was the 6,000 people that traveled from every state and even other countries to see Gayle, see Dr. Oz, see Suze Orman, see Adam Glassman, but most of all, to see her. She's in their living rooms on TV every day, or in the magazine they get every month. But she's more than a hero, or an inspiring leader, or a famous bold faced name; she's familiar, she's a trusted friend, and she cares.

Oprah opened the event with a keynote speech where she discussed the overall intention of the magazine, and the weekend. "We're here to help you fill your cup, so you can then extend that cup out to others."

As she said in an interview in the anniversary issue of the magazine..."The greatest thing you can do is make somebody feel that they matter. So that is my secret to interviewing: How do I find the common denominator that allows a person to know that I hear them, and that what they say means something to me? if you can do that in all your relationships, whether it's with your children, your boss, your girlfriends, or your spouse -- if you can be present enough to really emit that energy, that's all anybody is looking for."

Amazing to witness that energy bouncing from the stage and back, and all over the room.

Best Friends

Over Christmas my sister had been asking me about various friends I see now I'm back in New York. My niece Katy, who remembers everything, suddenly asked, "Why haven't you mentioned Greta?"

Well Katy, that's because the very weekend last July when I finally gave into that little voice inside and decided to relocate back to New York, Greta decided to leave New York and move to a remote canyon in Southern Utah!

Greta is one of my best friends, and also former business partner. For over a year we worked together, out of home offices in beach towns on each coast, to get greendog off the ground. She's a California girl at heart too so I always kept hoping she'd eventually move to California. It almost happened once, then she started dating someone the month before she was supposed to move, and somehow ended up in Long Beach, Long Island. (Not the most direct path).

Last spring, Greta took a volunteer vacation for Best Friends Animal Society, which has a wonderful animal sanctuary in Kanab, Utah, and the dream was first planted. A few months later, when she was offered a job running their events, though it was a big life change she made the leap to follow her heart and join them.

As life often works in circular ways, Greta is back in New York this week as our agency is producing a huge event this weekend, and Greta's organization is one of the non profits benefiting from the walk.

She's been my house guest for the last few days and just left this morning to move into a hotel in the city where the rest of her colleagues are. A few of us got together for her birthday a couple days ago, appropriately on Cinquo du Mayo.

Last year, when I was living in California, I happened to be in New York the same weekend and most of the same group (including another best friend Shelley who also happened to be in town this week from Austin) celebrated Greta's birthday in a somewhat unique fashion... I had shown Jason pictures from the evening and Jason commented, "She seems like a girl who seems to really enjoy her birthday!"

Greta is someone who really enjoys her life. I already miss her.

...And out like a lamb

And just like that, last weekend became summer.

80 degree temperatures, sunshine, shorts, sundresses, flip flops, biking, strolling, running, outdoor tennis, basketball, soccer and baseball, packed outdoor sidewalk cafes, the unmistakable jingle of the white ice cream truck, which looks exactly the same as the ones I remember growing up.

The harbor came alive this weekend. Sailboats, small motor crafts and cruise ships joined the year around barges, ferries and water taxis, and the East River reminded me of Florida's inner-coastal waterway. I even saw my first kayakers right by the pier in front of my building. Looking at some J24's by the Statue of Liberty, I smiled to remember running aground during a sailing lesson during low tide a few years ago.

Late Saturday afternoon I went to the Chelsea Garden Center in Red Hook to buy some plants, and decided I wanted to grow an herb garden too (fire escape style!). I only put three of my favorite herbs in the basket to start with before I purchased the rest of the herbs and a nice planter to contain them as I wasn't sure of the 'full sun' potential I had in the afternoon that were necessary for these little Mediterranean sun worshippers. Standing in front of the herb display I was telling the guy helping me I was hedging. He said, "Well, its happened in May, but seems like we're past it. A lot of people bought plants this weekend."

I realized with a shock he was talking about potential for a late spring frost!

Turns out - full sun!

When you've been living in California for nearly six years, and the land of 'Endless Summer' for more than half of that time, you really take the sunshine for granted and the grey winter skies of the East become faint memories.

On the East Coast there can be some pressure around 'what are you going to do for the summer?' People plan vacations, trips to summer houses, maximize outdoor recreation every chance they can. People plan! It's much different in California as you're living in a climate that is beautiful most of the time, and most people I know resisted any type of planning other than the vague 'Maybe we'll have a barbecue next weekend' or 'Maybe we'll go on a hike.' If they didn't feel like it, there is always another beautiful weekend. In the East in the back of your mind you know you're living on borrowed time.

I saw Connor Carly and Logan ("Mr. Happy" above) over the weekend, and Logan said to me "You make cookies for me tomorrow." Since he's three, his questions come out as statements.

Last night they came over to watch the sun set, have cookies, lemonade and wine on the roof deck and enjoyed the mild evening. Six flights up you could hear birds chirping from Grace Court trees, and the occasional harbor horns. We watched boats glide home and enjoyed the lights twinkling all around on the bridges and buildings in Manhattan and New Jersey to the far west. My photos fall very short in capturing what a pretty night it was.

This morning the skies are grey again and we have morning rain. Though we have the promise, the first hints of the season ahead, and sometimes that anticipation alone can be enough.

Before Warren became "Warren"

As I mentioned in an earlier post, earlier this week I had gone to a book launch event for Peter Buffett's new book "Life is What You Make It." I'm really enjoying the book and its folksy wisdom even though post event, I didn't know what it would be about -- the majority of the questions weren't about the book, but about life with Peter's very famous father!

One of the most interesting things I learned that evening was that Warren Buffett was initially very shy and socially awkward, and terrified of public speaking. His wife Susie had recognized his lack of confidence as a barrier and had encouraged him to take Dale Carnegie classes. That, plus teaching, helped draw Warren Buffett out. What a remarkable story!

Tom Brokaw had noted his observation of Warren Buffett's role as trusted and highly influential and persuasive business leader through the years, and the many quotes and homespun homilies he was known for-- his personal favorite being "You only find out who is swimming naked when the tide goes out."

As someone who appreciates how words are strung together, I've enjoyed reading some of his annual letters to shareholders - not for the investment background (I skip over the charts with numbers!) - but for the thought behind them.

An expert from his 2003 letter "...True independence - meaning the willingness to challenge a forceful CEO when something is wrong or foolish - is an enormously valuable trait in a director. It is also rare. The place to look for it is among high-grade people whose interests are in line with those of rank-and-file shareholders -- and are in line in a very big way." As George Orwell writes in his essay Politics and the English Language -- good writing is directly linked to good, clear thinking.

So Warren Buffett may still have been the most successful investor ever, but without pushing through his fears of public speaking, would he have been the "Oracle of Omaha"? Would his philosophy and ethics and observations on business and life have influenced countless others far outside of the investment world if his communication skills and confidence held him back?

Would he have been "Warren Buffett"?